Tag Archives: madness

Monsters and Other Childish Things – The Grid Playtest

The year is 2070.  The place; Seattle, WA.

In this day and age, computers are built into your clothing, the internet is everywhere, and holograms / augmented reality are a practical interface with technology, rather than a simple novelty.

There was a time when computers were totally and completely responsible for everything we did.  Artificial Intelligence was at our beck and call, managing all that was once done by man.  We were able to relax and work on self-improvement.  If you’ve seen any kind of science fiction film, you know approximately what happens next.  Well okay, things didn’t go full Skynet.  We weren’t THAT unprepared.  There were defenses in place, but likewise, the Artificial Intelligences have that second word for a reason.  Their definite power was removed and, to the casual observer, they were completely destroyed.

Just like that pain in the ass toolbar that you got when you opened that email from the Nigerian prince, the victory by Grid Security was merely a ploy.  Slowly, the remnants of the AI began to surface.  No one’s sure where they’re coming from or why, but one thing’s certain:  They are returning.

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Legend of the Five Rings – Journey to The West Session 2

When we last left our trio of “heroes,” they were leaving the village of Clearwater. They continue to track their guide West.

On the journey, the trio tell each other tall tales and blatant lies in order to stave off the boredom. Eventually, they reach a crossroads upon a vast plain.

They will travel to the Crab Lands, following the Shadowlands tainted hermit.

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Legend of the Five Rings – Journey to The West Session 1

The winter sun is rising over Morning Glory Castle, one of the most beautiful, remote castles in the Okagun province. The Empress is holding court, and onto our stage walks Akasko Tripitaka. A storyteller, a historian, a peaceful monk: he is about to be sent on a journey to uncover the secrets of the Lying Darkness, a great threat to the Empire.

In his journey he will be joined by two incredibly rambunctious near-demigods. Can the strange trio work together to save the Empire?

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Sordid Dystopia – The Ship of More Fools

A vessel is making its way across the ocean, filled with a band of intrepid explorers. They have a dinner party with destiny in their future.

This isn’t a game played by the Drunk and Ugly! Ross Payton of Role Playing Public Radio was kind enough to run a playtest of Sordid Dystopia for the RPPR group.

Needless to say, madness ensued. It was fantastic.

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Complete Bull$#!@ – Danger Guy

You are one of the most dangerous Danger Guys in the city. There isn’t a problem you haven’t been able to sum up with a one-liner and a squinting of the eyes, a building you haven’t jumped off of for no reason, or an explosion that has remained un-walked away from. It doesn’t have the best job benefits, but after all, chicks dig scars.

It is a hot day. Noon. You enter a drinking establishment. What will you do?

>Blow Something Up

Unfortunately, the Danger Factor of this drinking establishment is too low. There aren’t any explosives in here. In fact, looking at the menu, there’s not even anything flammable in here. Unless you count tongue burns from weak tea “flammable”.

>Insult the owner of the establishment

You insult the owner of the establishment, calling her a “Fancy Trollop”, and a “High Brow-ed, Hootin’ Tootin’ Ruffian.” It appears that some witchcraft has switched your voice with that of the notorious Ugly Jeb, a patron of this establishment.

>Punch Ugly Jeb in the throat and reclaim your voice.

You punch the ugly troublemaker square in the voicebox and he lets out a high-pitched yowl. It appears that the same witchcraft which switched your voice for his has put St. Cat Robbelson’s finely tempered cat noise-box into his throat.

>Look for St. Cat Robbelson

You find the feline and feast your eyes upon the lavish throne he has been gifted by the Fancy Trollop who runs this establishment. He is curled upon the seat of Better Than You Land, in the Regal Nap Position. One eye stares at you from behind an adorable paw.

>Approach the throne and offer your benedictions.

You approach the throne and swagger down onto one knee. You don’t bow for any man, but this is no man. This is a cat. St. Cat Robbelson enters the Holy Stretching Yowl Position and then leaps down from the Throne of High Horse. He eyes you with an appraising glance.

>Refuse to Wither Under His Glare

He finds you fitting for a task of regal proportions (and attractive, to boot). He says, with your voice, that in order to reclaim your voice box, you must travel and do battle with the hated denizens of Dog Planet Incognito. He hands you the Royal Cat Scepter and re-enters the Regal Nap Position in a Holy Sunbeam.

>Travel to Dog Planet Incognito

You can’t go there yet! Your MP3 listening device doesn’t have nearly enough content filled in it to make such a long journey!

>Ask the Fancy Trollop for directions to the nearest MP3 Vending Machine

The Fancy Trollop eyes you with disdain and then points down the street to the large neon sign which says “FREE MP3s FOR DOWNLOAD!” You go to there and find that the vending machine is SOLD OUT, except for one slot. The graphic on the button shows an ugly man punching a horse.

>Download Drunk and Ugly Podcast

You are one of the top Drunk and Ugly listeners in the city. Your MP3 listening device is chock full of riotous games by some of the Toughest Round These Parts. You go to the Actual Play page and see that there’s a brand new episode up for download. “Complete Bull$#!@,” you think, as you begin to read over the excellent write-up, “this sounds wonderful!”

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