On:
In: Sordid Dystopia

We return to New Xexoria, where Agnes Mikhail has become a mercenary, working alongside the notorious Rave Varren and his infamous hairdo.

The mercenary company operates out of the port town of Al Lagosa, and has been operating on hard times. Things are, unfortunately, quiet in Al Lagosa these days. So when a guard job for the first passenger train ride since the collapse of the Old World comes up, the mercenaries snap it up.

Their journey will take them careening across the country, into the heart of danger and adventure.

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In: Monsters, Mrs. Frieda's

The kids have survived their first day of school! Slightly weary, and more than slightly weirded out, they return home, ready for a relaxing afternoon of taking care of business. Nothing can go wrong now.

Minus the fact that August’s been missing for two weeks. They’re not sure how they let that happen. Truancy officers have come to the Halfway House looking for him, and he’s not answering his door.

August, you see, has started down a very strange path. It’s old, so old, and coated in spiderwebs. He’s not sure where it leads, but he knows that somewhere, the Spider Queen is waiting for him. She holds the key to his history, and his family, and the reasons why his body has begun to develop such frightening characteristics.

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On:
In: Sordid Dystopia

A vessel is making its way across the ocean, filled with a band of intrepid explorers. They have a dinner party with destiny in their future.

This isn’t a game played by the Drunk and Ugly! Ross Payton of Role Playing Public Radio was kind enough to run a playtest of Sordid Dystopia for the RPPR group.

Needless to say, madness ensued. It was fantastic.

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On:
In: Homebrew

You are one of the most dangerous Danger Guys in the city. There isn’t a problem you haven’t been able to sum up with a one-liner and a squinting of the eyes, a building you haven’t jumped off of for no reason, or an explosion that has remained un-walked away from. It doesn’t have the best job benefits, but after all, chicks dig scars.

It is a hot day. Noon. You enter a drinking establishment. What will you do?

>Blow Something Up

Unfortunately, the Danger Factor of this drinking establishment is too low. There aren’t any explosives in here. In fact, looking at the menu, there’s not even anything flammable in here. Unless you count tongue burns from weak tea “flammable”.

>Insult the owner of the establishment

You insult the owner of the establishment, calling her a “Fancy Trollop”, and a “High Brow-ed, Hootin’ Tootin’ Ruffian.” It appears that some witchcraft has switched your voice with that of the notorious Ugly Jeb, a patron of this establishment.

>Punch Ugly Jeb in the throat and reclaim your voice.

You punch the ugly troublemaker square in the voicebox and he lets out a high-pitched yowl. It appears that the same witchcraft which switched your voice for his has put St. Cat Robbelson’s finely tempered cat noise-box into his throat.

>Look for St. Cat Robbelson

You find the feline and feast your eyes upon the lavish throne he has been gifted by the Fancy Trollop who runs this establishment. He is curled upon the seat of Better Than You Land, in the Regal Nap Position. One eye stares at you from behind an adorable paw.

>Approach the throne and offer your benedictions.

You approach the throne and swagger down onto one knee. You don’t bow for any man, but this is no man. This is a cat. St. Cat Robbelson enters the Holy Stretching Yowl Position and then leaps down from the Throne of High Horse. He eyes you with an appraising glance.

>Refuse to Wither Under His Glare

He finds you fitting for a task of regal proportions (and attractive, to boot). He says, with your voice, that in order to reclaim your voice box, you must travel and do battle with the hated denizens of Dog Planet Incognito. He hands you the Royal Cat Scepter and re-enters the Regal Nap Position in a Holy Sunbeam.

>Travel to Dog Planet Incognito

You can’t go there yet! Your MP3 listening device doesn’t have nearly enough content filled in it to make such a long journey!

>Ask the Fancy Trollop for directions to the nearest MP3 Vending Machine

The Fancy Trollop eyes you with disdain and then points down the street to the large neon sign which says “FREE MP3s FOR DOWNLOAD!” You go to there and find that the vending machine is SOLD OUT, except for one slot. The graphic on the button shows an ugly man punching a horse.

>Download Drunk and Ugly Podcast

You are one of the top Drunk and Ugly listeners in the city. Your MP3 listening device is chock full of riotous games by some of the Toughest Round These Parts. You go to the Actual Play page and see that there’s a brand new episode up for download. “Complete Bull$#!@,” you think, as you begin to read over the excellent write-up, “this sounds wonderful!”

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On:
In: Non-AP

YO! NEWS BIRD HERE. WE GOT DA NEWS:

FIRST OFF. We’ve got some bad news. Matt fell in a wood chipper. SO I’M RUNNIN DIS THING NOW.
MORE BAD NEWS: All of his copies of Monsters and Other Childish Things (dude had like 10 copies, i dunno, he just really liked dat game or somethin’) all fell in there with him. So Frieda’s is canceled. like, forever

yeah

ANYWAY WE’VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YA
Nate is finishing up the finishing final touches on his book “Melodramatic Badplace” and we’ll have that available for ya soons. First chapter is free for contributors, the rest is DLC. For like, everybody. $50 a pop. Bird’s gotta eat, doe.

MORE GOOD NEWS
Charlie’s getting into game 12 of a FATAL campaign that we’re all lovin’ the ever-beaten crap out of. We’ll get dose games posted soon as we can recover matt’s hard drive from the wood chipper. We ain’t sure why it’s there.

ANYWAY DA BEST NEWS

BUT WAIT LISTEN TO DESE SWEET BEATS FIRST
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeVP8MA_s14

 

RIGHT DA NEWS WE GOT DA NEWS

Manda finally ran a session of a game and it was da best. 4 hours of Ms. Scull talking to students. Turns out she’s a witch and a succubus at da same time. Crazy,  i know.

yeah
anyways I got to go, Coolrat and Da Boys are coming over and we’re gonna chill and eat some wings and OH GOD WINGS WHAT NO
NEWS BIRD OUT

PLAYERS: Popcorn Sutton be da ONLY player we got up in here. Newsbird OUT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXkoc5-9a-Y

 

ps guncat call me I love you <3

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